Dating

I think most people agree that dating can be a horribly awkward and intimidating exercise. What might be more uncomfortable then the actual date is the process of asking the person out. So, I am proposing a set of rules that our society should implement to make the whole courting process easier. You still might stumble through the date, but getting one will be a whole lot easier.

I should say that if you're already very outgoing and super self-confident, then this really won't apply to you. However, more people are socially awkward and shy then not, so this shouldn't be taken lightly.

Anyway, this is how it would work: Everyone would be required to accept someones date if they're asked out. A lot of people are terrified of rejection, so this would take a lot of the fear out of dating. Obviously there would be some exceptions and general protections for the individual being asked out. Here they are as followed:

1. If you're already in a relationship (dating, engaged, married, etc.)

2. If you don't feeling like dating anyone then you wouldn't have to. The way it would be pretty simple: you can't just pick and choose who's invitation to accept. You have to declare yourself off limits to everyone. You can toggle your status on and off whenever you want (kind of), but if you say no to one person, then you have to say no to everyone. There would be a one or two week period when your status would remain the same. For instance, if you say on October 1 that you're not dating anyone because a fat chick or a creepy guy asks you out, then you must wait two weeks (October 15) to date someone else. You can't pick and choose. You have to stick to your decision for a certain amount of time so you don't exploit the system.

3. The exception to that, however, would be if you have a valid reason not to date that person. If they're creepers, stalkers, douchebags, certified assholes, super bitches, etc. then you could say no without any repercussion. There would be complications because the person who is denied the date might think they were rejected for an invalid reason. The system can't be exploited by either side. A dating arbitration court would be formed to decide cases in which possible rules were violated.

Example: A guy who has a history of being a total asshole asks a girl out. She says no on the grounds that he's an asshole. He thinks she's just being a bitch and believes he isn't an asshole. He files for arbitration and a judge decides whether or not he has a valid case. The judge looks at the evidence and sees that he has a pattern of being a dick. The judge rules the girl was right and she doesn't have to accept the date.

We can fund this court by taxing the extremely wealthy a little bit more then the 40% they're being taxed now. Or something like that. Maybe borrow from the Chinese or something. We'll make it work.

3. The person who asks for the date must pay for it unless it's agreed by both sides for another arrangement.

4. If the date doesn't go well or the person who was asked out just doesn't connect with the other person there is no requirement to go out again. The whole point is just for people to connect with one another without all the weirdness that surrounds conventional dating. If people just had one chance of a one on one conversation with someone they liked, I think a lot more people would be happy.

5. People are shallow. Weight, deformities, general ugliness, etc. play a role in rejection for both sides. I completely understand someone's point of view when they're not physically attracted to someone else. However, that's the whole point of the one guaranteed date. It gives everyone a fair shot of opening up and seeing if they find a connection that goes beyond the physical aspect.

I'm sure there are some rules I can think up to make this whole process more streamlined and fair, but this is a good start in destroying the awkwardness that clouds everyday life. And it doesn't require a medication, prescription or otherwise. Just enforcement by an armed dating agency. Kidding.

The most important aspect of this plan isn't necessarily about the long term relationship or the sex (although it can be; nothing wrong with that), but rather about trying to make new friends and just see new people that you normally wouldn't have a chance with. For both sides. It could also work in a platonic friend way, or just regular friendship. Watch I Love You Man for an example of that.

"I know that everything, know that everything, know that everything, everything's going to be fine".