I came to the realization that I'm not on equal footing as some people when it comes to certain things. I know that's a horribly vague statement that probably doesn't appear to mean anything deep, but writing this out gives me a certain peace of mind.
I'm not sure where I can go from here. I'm not that afraid of regressing as I once was, and that's because I know I can't do much worse. What's more frightening then regression is not making progress. I have in certain aspects, but the gains I've earned have either come at a great price or were never as good as I thought they were.
Every once in a while I get a reminder that I'm not the starting quarterback for the Patriots, but rather the third string QB battling for a job on the Lions practice squad. Will I ever reach respectability and make some big plays? I hope so, because thinking about failure is gut wrenching and depressing. Like I said, I know I've made progress in life, but I'm not sure where I thought I was and who knows If I'll get to where I want to be.
Sometimes players need a change of scenery and their team will trade them. I really like my friends; they're all good people and they're all good friends to me. But maybe I need to go somewhere else for a few months to see what I can do on my own and see who I am. Finding ones self can be devastatingly painful at times, but it's necessary to grow. If I only knew what I was growing into.
That's all for now.
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1 comments:
you may think of yourself as that tthird string qb, but remember that even the current starting qb for the patriots was a 6th round pick that people barely believed in. you have countless abilities far beyond what you know. just because they are not the same as those around you or those you look up to does not mean they arent there. everyone struggles with finding what their niche is, but you will find it soon enough. if it takes a change of scenery to do so, so be it. only you will know what it right for you.
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